Grief & Death
Grief is unique to each individual, there is no set way we journey through it. It’s not only about physical death and loss. It can be the loss of a relationship, the loss of an identity through trauma, the loss of our home and of course the loss of our animal companions. The way we speak about grief has changed, it has been in many countries and societies a taboo subject where it was hardly recognised and people were expected to “deal” with it in a private way and without an understanding of the lifetime journey it creates withithing us. Unlike in many other cultures where death is a part of our larger spiritual journey, a transition period, a doorway.
For many death or abrupt painful endings are a catalyst of enquiry creating a rupture and shift in the family or cultural upbringing.
It can be also for some a period of the most intense searching and restructuring of our personalities and our questioning of what is a spiritual life?
Is there life after death?
In my life, death and grief has been my constant companion from infancy through every decade of my life, I have never had a life experience without the impact of grief colouring it.
In the beginning of my Spiritual awakening, when I started to see my family in their Spirit bodies after they had physically died, I was navigating a child’s world, a world where I knew my Dad was there still, where ever there was, the Catholic image of Heaven I had been raised to believe in. I knew he was watching me from there and able to appear to me sometimes. I knew that the belief system I had been raised in said there was an eternal life, however there was also a suppression of my expression of the visions that I was having.
Visions that brought me happiness and a feeling of peace.
So on one hand I was raised to believe without question there was life after death; yet when I see the Spirit of my Father after death I was not allowed to speak of it? I was made to feel I should be silent in case I was judged by the church community as; what? I wasn’t sure, it was never expressed, but it was implied, I would be judged that I was wrong, that I was mistaken, therefore I must have been lying?
Contradictory and upsetting for a child who was deeply comforted by the loving assurances I received from my Dad visiting me from the Spirit world. I am so thankful to my strong inner spirit and my guiding spirit friends and family who helped me move through this time with a strong belief, a unshakeable certainity in what I had experienced as true.
I was not to be shaken from the power of truth and love that I had experienced.
What later I would come to understand as “Knowing” a certainty that only lived experience, a direct spiritual realisation
can provide.
The term used now is,
“Transformative Spiritual experiences”
These visions and communications from Spirit became a part of my everyday life.
They shaped my psyche, my attitudes, and beliefs, in the following years. Guiding me through a turbulent grief wracked teens and family life. I sought ever more, ever deeper knowledge to understand these experiences out with the framework of limiting beliefs I was raised in.
As a family we did not have any grief counselling and this is something I think many people, if not most who are grieving would benefit from. Especially where children are involved, to help navigate the strong winds of grief that can rock a family apart. Grief counselling can help the surviving parent to navigate and proces the loss and the daily challenges they face as a lone bereaved parent. It can support the children to understand the emotional waves they experience, and hopefully; eventually, everyone can learn to thrive in time. To find the meaning in the loss, to honour our loved ones in their legacy As David Kessler the grief educator teaches us. To help everyone find inner strength while celebrating the resilience it brings to navigate life after loss.
There needs to be more open dialogue, community, and support for those who are navigating their personal grief journey. I shall share some resources and ongoing conversations regards death, navigating grief, spiritual experiences around death and dying.
As a spiritualist I know from my own journey that our eternal nature, our Spirit incarnates and is living in this world to grow and learn, however long or short that journey is. Each journey from preterm infants to those who reach a ripe old age, all is part of a huge tapestry where the ageless eternal soul grows in wisdom, living through many lives.
There is always a chance to learn again and continue to expand and to evolve.
Death is not an end. It is a transition.
A stage on a journey into greater expansion and awareness of our Spiritual reality.
It is like Earth and other planets also are School Rooms, places we can learn lessons. The journey is a long one and we are always guided by those who have gone before us. There is always love surrounding us, supporting us, and encouraging us from the Spirit world.
The ultimate goal I believe is the greatest expression of the light of our soul, of a returning to oneness with the greatest power of Love that is the source of all life.
Grief & Death Links
Helpful links to guide you through this difficult process
We change minds across England and Wales by making mental health an everyday priority. By standing up to the injustices – in healthcare, in work, in law – which make life harder for those of us with mental health problems.
There are many practical matters to attend to when someone dies. Bereavement Advice Centre supports and advises people on what they need to do after a death.
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AtaLoss connects with and brings together over 2,000 local and national bereavement services, filtered according to preference, location and need, as well as practical information and advice.
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Marie Curie offers advice and guidance for those grieving, as well as useful information and links to further services to help with the loss of a loved one
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Help for when a Child dies or is grieving
Founded by Dr Shelley Gilbert MBE, our mission is to give every child and young person access to the best possible support following the death of someone close.
A short video on grief by CHAS, for parents who have a child who has died.
Child Bereavement UK helps families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies.
Support for Infant Death
Sands is a safe place for you to grieve and to find support, whether you are a parent, sibling, grandparent, NHS professional or friend.
Support for Death by Suicide
We help individuals support each other, at the time of their loss and in the months and years that follow. We aim to provide safe environments where people can share their experiences and feelings, giving and gaining support from each other.
Winston’s Wish offers specialist suicide bereavement support for families, children and young people (up to 25) when someone important has taken their own life.
The following authors are people who I feel offer heart led supportive services
with their books and online offerings
Podcasts & YouTube Channels
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